I have a pretty good relationship with all of my ex's, and this makes me happy for the most part. Sometimes, something will happen which causes me to wonder if two people who are more than friends can ever be 'just friends' for real, or if aspects and feelings and thoughts always linger and sometimes bubble to the surface always. Either way, maybe it's a topic for another day.
But, my ex, whom I have never seen drunk and who is a very thoughtful person, called me last night to tell me Happy New Year. and he was drunk, like slurring drunk. And he had left a woman upstairs and come downstairs to call me. I appreciated that he thought of me and appreciate that he reached out and expressed that. At the same time, I felt kind of badly for the woman upstairs and felt kind of odd hearing him so altered. It has really had me thinking a lot today about a lot of different things. I don't know how people walk away from people that they have loved and shared intimate times with, because I haven't really experienced it. I've managed to be friendly or friends with all of the people whom I have loved...for the most part, we care about each other and that didn't change because the relationship didn't work.
But then I wonder if that's even healthy. Should I be carrying around all of this past with me, letting these people occupy space in my heart when we don't occupy space in each other's lives any longer? Or should I be severing these ties and staying light and fresh and free for the next chapters in my life. I honestly can't imagine my life without the people who have made it better. But I can't imagine my life continuing on like this, so maybe I have to change what I can imagine? I'm just not sure.
Anyway, new blog for the new year and, hopefully, new approach to life will be at ... http://lhoprovatosullamiapelle.blogspot.com/