7.18.2007

just things an insomniac types with another morning here

with the sun, and the pain and the world peeking in. the words are like burdens at my fingertips again. i don't want to look at this screen or type any more than i want to participate in another day of pretend. of emails and phone calls and fake laughter. of knowing that just like me, they are needy and that we wear each other out and need each other to hold each other high. one of us has to be on, to leave in order to support the rest of us who are hiding from the world. there are a lot of us who are scared of what is out there, and a lot of us who understand. who bolster up to do the bad things that pay the most in the quickest amount of time so that we can leave quickly and come back paid. it is a community that we forge and we know our place. we are not fond of the non group players.

i only want to sleep at night again. eat sometimes. stop this hurt.

1 comment:

Spades said...

I hope it all works out for you, and I hope you don't have to do too many bad things to get you to where you need to be.