Operation Two-A-Days aka no more Pushing Maximum Density has commenced.

i'm a thick girl.
not fat at all.
especially compared to how i used to look.
but, i'm borderline.
i get Mad Holleration, no doubt.
and not even stunting, it's just true.
i leave the house and i get attention.
it's not attention that i want...
i just want to feel good about my body All The Way again.
surgery has changed my body.
Hormone Replacement Therapy has changed my body.
treatmments have changed my body.
some things...
a Perfect stomach,
a Flawless stomach,
youth, maybe,
i will never have again.

i have beautiful eyes.
i have a beautiful smile.
i have, amazingly after the hormones and treatments, long beautiful hair.
i have, more importantly, intelligence.
i have strength of character.
i have a razor sharp wit.
i have a fabulous sense of humor.

these are all good things to have.
and maybe should be enough.
but i want The Body.

i don't want to Push Maximum Density any longer.

my doctors tell me that i can't do it again.
that i can't get my body back there.
that a hysterectomy and HRT have altered me,
in a way that means that i will have to accept my limitations.

i call bullshit.
my entire life has been about disproving the Powers That Be about what i can and cannot do.
this will be another way that i prove them wrong.

i have started operation Two A Days.
hiking in the morning.
gym for alternate cardio w/upper body and cardio w/lower body in the evenings.
it feels good to be on a mission again.
tonight's workout was an hour and a half.
cardio...elliptical for 40 minutes.
lower body strength and toning on the weights.
i was stronger than i thought i'd be.

soon, i will be an even lovelier vision!

and the funny thing...
i got mad holleration in the gym
from the trainers
while i was working out.
laughing, i am.

i can't wait to be my next evolution.
i can't wait to prove them wrong.
i can't wait to sleep tonight!!!