headaches

i'm in a headache {migraine} cycle again.

i don't know if it has to do with antibiotics, or infection, or allergies, sinuses, stress...

probably a combo of all of it. but i keep having headaches. it's time to change my patch. my bladder is still not right.

grrrrrr. i just can't handle the physical downside of this taking forever to heal thing.

in other news, things are going well for me in areas other than the hurting. i'm happy with the progress that i'm making in therapy, with the people i have chosen to be close to & honest with, with the progression of my emotional/spiritual self and my interactions with people. i'm having some great self-awareness time every day, meditating, praying, striving towards becoming emotionally healthy. and working hard to figure out why i always think that if someone knows me for who i really am, they will not want me in their life anymore, and so i keep my 'real stuff' so close to my chest.

i'm working on being completely honest with my support network and figuring out who my support network really is. and being honest with myself about some of my co-dependent relationships.

life is hard, even when it's simple. i just want some healthy love in mine.

and i'm finding it, first in me. i'm learning to love me. and to accept the love of others. and, to be less rigid* (this is by far the most difficult for me and what my therapist works on the most, my having less rules and interacting less with people that hold emotional stuff at bay and keep it easy for me to be emotionally distant and less at risk.)

but anyway. less rules for me.

now i must go be exposed to the smog. my head is so excited. :/