love without penetration

after i have my hysterectomy, i can't have sex for at least six weeks. is it wrong to have fallen for someone right now?

i don't think it's wrong, per se. i mean, clearly the universe brought him into my life for a reason. although i think it may be getting my hopes up incredibly to think that someone that i have known for four minutes will think that this is any kind of a rational or sane idea.

me: hello.
him: hello.
us: have three dates.
me: have hysterectomy.
me: will you wait at least six weeks to have sex and come visit me while i'm on bedrest after a major surgery which puts me into menopause at thirty as i adjust to hormone replacement therapy and just want to watch movies?
him: crazy look crazy time crazy run away

exactly.

*sigh*

i mean, we have this insane connection that at any other point in my life would have terrified me. but, i have been meditating and praying and communicating with the universe and i am more at peace and general well accord than i have been, and i feel like he's supposed to be here. he's just a natural fit into me - into my whole life.

there hasn't been any newness weirdness awkwardness strangeness that most new person interaction brings. when he is with me, i feel like i have known him for my entire life and maybe before. lol - that sounds weird. but it feels past life(ish) to me. there is a comfort that is comforting, even though *he* is new. which maybe doesn't make any sense, but which makes perfect sense after talking to my psychic about it.

anyway, it feels good, and it makes me feel good. and so i'm not questioning it. or over thinking it. i'm just thanking the universe for it. but at the same time, i'm not being assumptive about it. i'm taking one moment at a time. one second, one breath at a time. which i have learned to do with these chemicals and pills and whatever else anyway.

so yeah, it's been a really great and happytime week. and even though i barely know this new person in my life i know him and i've got room in my heart for love for him - which sounds weird but he brings me comfort and stillness and i really don't know how to describe it but he pulls me onto his lap and strokes my hair and whispers into my ear and i feel a calmness that i haven't felt in a long time. and then he does other things to my body that cause me to shiver and twitch and laugh uncontrollably and cry and beg and sigh and then he scoops me back up again.

so - i long ago typed (coined?) the phrase Love Without Penetration and i have loved it since. b/c to me, one doesn't have to do with the other. sex and love are completely separate. although if you can find the person that you can combine them with, it is fantastic. anyway, can a new friendship plus survive what i personally am being forced to survive?

we'll see. let's hope. i cross my fingers now.