2.10.2007

the universe keeps telling me...


live the now. let it be what it is. if there's no love, don't beg for it. if there is love, accept it. take what you are offered. walk away when there is nothing.

but i'm so fucking stubborn. i really don't understand what the fuck my problem is. i want to win? i want to prove something? to myself? to the world? to the universe? i really don't know.

anyway, tonight was my Farewell My Uterus | Hello Dirty Thirty party. it was great. there are really great pics that i will have up tomorrow. to the people who came to celebrate everything that this night was a celebration of with me...thank you so much. to those of you who traveled far to do so, more than words.

it was wonderful and flew by. thanks for indulging with me, for singing to me, and for spoiling me by getting me the gifts on my wish list (and to you who wrote the farewell card to my uterus - so clever and awesome and I really am going to have them burn it with my uterus. awesome!!!)

so, tomorrow we're going to the Getty. :) it's so great to have people in from out of town! then Sunday, my friend is taking me to Olympic spa for my birthday!!!! they send you to the showers, then you are naked in front of everyone else and they put you in all of these different hot tubs and saunas, and then they put you on this massage table and exfoliate your entire body, dump buckets of warm water on you, give you a full body massage, wash your hair, do a wrap on your body, wash and massage your face, dump the buckets on you again, scrup your body down with salt, then you shower and hot tub again, then you get reflexology. it is amazing. and that is my birthday present from her!!! wow!! then we're all going to see a movie together :)

then monday we're thinking about a day trip to vegas but not sure. then tuesday morning everyone leaves, including my roommate, and i'm all alone to prepare for my surgery and stuff.

get back to life. process everything that has happened,

all in all, except for a couple of things that i can't change, today was a good day and tonight was a great night. there is something that i asked the universe for that i got and now i'm not sure if i was ready. now i have to deal with accepting it. now i have to deal with knowing that i am worth it.

i am worth what i want.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

okay, this blog entry made me tear up. and they were tears of joy cause, seriously woman, you are the definition of strength. and your surgery is going to go just fine. i'm praying for you everytime you come to mind (which is daily these days). i'm glad your b-day went well too. :-)