i spoke to my surgeon today and confirmed the details. he is getting the robot that he wanted from D.C. and so now my surgery is the 21st at 8 a.m. - the first and only case of the day. and it's going to be a teaching case, meaning that the class will be there learning. wheeeeee. so yeah, i'm nervous. about the surgery. and the change. and the life afterward. all of the unknown. just a little scared.
so the man left town today. he's so beautiful and sweet. i drove him to the airport b/c we wanted to spend some time together before he left town. he left me his button down that he worked in all day and it smells like him and i have kept it near me, loving absorbing the scent of someone so incredibly nice and loving to me.
we talked about my hysterectomy. or, i talked about it. telling him that i know that he's only known be for about five minutes, and that even though he keeps telling me how shocked he is at the intensity of his feelings for me already, that i do not expect him to wait for me after my surgery. that it will be hard to enjoy or get to know someone who is going through what i will be, trapped in bed, drugged, and incapable of having sex. how can i aske that of someone? or even hope for it - because there is no way that i would ask for it.
and he took my hand and kissed it and told me how special i am.
i know that it's so prelim, so early, so many reasons that i shouldn't ever say this out loud or 'type it out loud', but man oh man i really really really like him. he's everything that i was telling the universe that i deserved and wanted and ached for.
he is special to me and for me. i don't know how long his role in my life is according to the universe's plan, but i am going to enjoy every minute of it!!!
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